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Don't take life too seriously!

6/12/2012

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Teachings to live by

  • Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow.. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.  
  • Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.  
  • Never test the depth of the water with both feet…  
  • If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.  
  • Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.  
  • If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.  
  • Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.  
  • If you lend someone  $ 20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.  
  • If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 
  • Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.  
  • Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment.  
  • A closed mouth gathers no foot.  
  • There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.  
  • Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.  
  • Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.  
  • Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 


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